Yes it's been days since I last wrote a blog. It's been interesting though. I have been sleep deprived, only getting a couple of hours sleep each night for a few weeks now. There's no real reason why it happens. Been happening since I was 18. I tried many things including a Sleep Disorder Unit where I was told I was part of the 5% of clients they cant help....Bugger.....it comes and goes. I put this 'bout' down to the last year which I wont bore you with however has had some major stressors and the fact that I made a big move recently joining my husband in Cairns.
What I have found this time is the fact that I almost went back to old patterns. When I am sleep deprived I feel sick a lot of the time, I am abviously very tired, have a headache, cant drive a car or even walk straight, I cant concentrate and that is why I haven't done any writing, and through all this I lose the ability to know when I am sleepy and ready for bed or just plain exhausted.
So what I normally would do is 'treat' myself. The first time was when I have dragged myself up to
the shopping centre for the essentials (food) and as I was leaving the supermarket I have to walk past a bakery and there were my all time favourite xmas treat; Christmas Mince Pies..............oh how I love them. I found myself changing route and making a beeline to buy just one...or maybe 2. Then I stopped and asked myself what the heck I was doing. "What am I doing this for Pamela?" To make me feel better about the fact that I am sleep deprived and have gone into victim mode. OH POOR ME.....
So not only is it covered in sugar (and I am now sugar free), it is filled with dried fruit (high in sugar) and it is made from gluten flour...oh wow.....everything I have eliminated from my diet.
I kept walking, however I had to stop and think what exactly would be the result of eating these scrummy delights. I would feel absolutley in raptures while I ate them (as I would have bought 2 as 1 is never enough). Then I would have felt sick, guilty and eventually bloated. Hello......wake up Pamela.....do I really need this after the work and effect I have put into ridding myself of these toxins.
NO....Not this time. So what if I am feeling like crap....I don't need to feel crappier, if that is a word. I wasn't even hungy.
So I staggered home (a bit of an exaggeration) by which time I was actually hungry and made myself a very yummy salad with lots of avocado and tasty food like homous and spent the rest of the afternoon in bliss. No bloated stomach and no guilt.
So do I think about those yummy xmas mince pies? You bet I do. Do I need to eat them? Heck no. Not interested. It's not so much having will power this time, it's more about listening to my body....really listening to it and thinking about the consequences which is somthing new for me. I am one of those people who (use to) eat for instant satisfaction/gratification.
I am really proud of myself. These are lifelong changes I am making and it's not going to be this easy everytime. All I can do is to remember to stop, think whether I really need this food, think about how bloated it will make me feel then make a decision. Then use my FasterEFT and tap it away........
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